Simplicity
by Choebe
Summary: Harm takes some action with Mac, unconcious. More would spoil it. LOL. Harm POV


Author: CB/Choebe  
  
Disclaimer: They're mine. Can;t you see? That's why this shipper keeps them apart. DUH! Rating: G, maybe PG to be on the safe side.  
  
Extra: Uhm, yeah, wrote this in about 1,5 hour. I had this title in me for a while already and so I wrote it down and this is what got out of it. Errors are totally mine since no one beta'd it and I am too tired to reread it ( it is midnight here). I will dedicate this to my friends from the HB and CB's MB and those I just plain love! Love you, guys!  
  
Spoilers: None unless you think Harm POV is a spoiler. Ok, get reading. Feedback. Oh, yes, I like that... Although the real bad ones I don't really care for. LOL. Have fun!  
  
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If I had known it would be like this, that it could be so easy, I'd done it 6 years ago. But maybe for some reason, it had to take this long, we had to go over it and had to have these thresholds we've had. Maybe it was what we needed for our future, to built a base on, to make a solid beginning. Either way, if I had known it only took this, this simple gesture, this simple little thing, I had done it years ago and we would have never been through the hurt, the pain, the difficulty what we lived the past 6 years. If only I had known it would have been so simple.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
Two days ago.  
  
I sit in my office. A pile of files lying on my desk, ready to be signed off on or just make sure they're dealth with. I am doing everything I can to concentrate. I already got myself several cups of coffee but still, it isn't working. My eyes drift off, time and time again, to the office next to me. I even placed my chair in a certain angle so I can look at it, so that I have a straight vision on the desk, on the woman that sits behind it. Lt. Col. Sarah Mackenzie. She is looking at something on her desk and I can see the little furrows she makes with her eyebrows, a nibble on her lip, a hand waiving through her hair. She is so beautiful at the moments she has no clue about the outer world, those moments when she is fully concentrated and when she isn't even aware of her surrounding or even her own concentration. My heart swells with pride, desire and most of all love. It warms me through and through.  
  
I look down to the file that lies in front of me. I can see the words, the sentences and even the notes one of my collegues added to it but for me it are just words, put together to make a sentence, a sentence that doesn't get through to my brain. All I see is a mixure of letters on an A4 blank paper. I can't stand it any longer. I need to give myself some slack, some time to think about something else than these annoying files.  
  
I step up and stand still for a moment to observe once again my female neighbor, the woman I am partnered with on and off since the past 6 years, the woman who enters my dreams and hallucinations, even at moments it damages more than it does good, my partner, my best friend, my.... I don't fill in my last thought. Afraid to pass that line, afraid that if I do, I lose everything that means so much to me. And she does, she means the world to me. I think I would be hurt so much more losing her as a friend than never having her as something more, something more secure. iSecure/i. Do I really fool myself so much?  
  
I shake my head for a little and take a pace towards the office to which I glanced so much today. Maybe I should take some actions, maybe I should try that so called 'security' and see where it leads me. Again, I try to shake my head to vanish the train of thoughts that runs through me. I softly knock on her doorframe and she glances up, her eyes connect with mine almost at the same instant and I feel my heart stop, stop beating, stop pumping and yet, as it should be when things like that happen, I am not getting cold. The opposite even, I get filled with warmth, and without me pushing any nerve, any brainmustle, I feel my lips form a smile and I see her respond, a smile lighting up the whole room, including my own heart. Can a heart grow in its size? At the moment, I don't care.  
  
"Hey, how you doing? Got the pile going down yet?" I hear her say in that soft, sweet voice of hers. I can't help but grin and shake my head. "Nope," I roll my eyes "Yours?" I ask her. She quirks her nose and gives me a shake aswell "Nah. Can't seem to concentrate on them. Good thing I don't have to get this pile of mine vanished before the end of the week. I might go take a breather. You in for something to eat?" "Well,"I start to say, "I was thinking maybe you would be interested in a home made dinner tonight. I need my pile to dissappear by the end of the day, sorry". I look down at my shoes. iHey, is that a spot I see?/i Never mind, I hear her voice again.  
  
"Well, dinner sounds good. Is that an invitation?" "1800, my place. Casual." I reply and give her a wink. iA wink. Am I out of my mind? She starts to grin and shakes her head. Guess she wonders what happened to my mind too. /i I hate to cut this short but I need to get my files done. And maybe I just got myself the concentration and anxiety to finish it. Yeay. I did it. Mentally I give myself a pat on the back. I am iso/i good! Thank God Mac can't read my mind. She would kick my six for even thinking it.  
  
Yet, I can't help to smile while I turn around, heading back towards my own office. Stopping in my tracks, I look over my shoulder saying to Mac "See ya tonight". I get a nod in return and I head back, with maybe, just maybe, a little lighter feeling walk.  
  
Yup, it worked. I am now totally wanting to get these files done and never want to see them back. I put a scrabble on the first file. iOne done, hunderd and one to go. /i  
  
Harm's Apartment, after 1800.  
  
I sit here at my dinner table, looking at a very casual yet so gorgeous dressed Mac. She looks totally stunning and I seem to be unable to get my eyes off of her. She doesn't seem to notice while she keeps talking and picks parts of food of her plate, talking with it while she holds the fork in front of her. When she bites, even through her munches, she keeps telling and telling. I have no clue what she is talking about. I just can't help looking at her, following the way her mouth moves, her lips curling over the fork.  
  
And it hits me. I can't do it anymore, I can't keep her off any longer. I want her, completely. I want to be able to look at her more often, preferably every day, I want her to cling to me when we watch a movie, I want her making my bed warmer, I want her, just, I want her completely. And I don't care about regs at this moment. She makes my life complete and I am an idiot for not giving her what she wanted in the first place. I knew it all along maybe. I think I am in love with her for as long as I can remember and just sitting here, in a place we are so familiar with, something we have done so many times, it totally hits me. iI am a fool! /i  
  
Yet, I know I can't jump on her like that. It would be way too much forward, I need to treat this with gentleness, with calculated approach, I need to go quietly, in a gentle pace.  
  
Once dessert is eaten, we head to my couch. I rent a movie today and we are going to watch it. I hear Mac tell me that she liked my dinner very much and that she is always impressed with my cooking abilities. And now I get that look, the look that makes my heart grow again, where my heart skips a beat, the feeling I love so much. Her smile is so cute (iAnd let her not ever hear that. She would pin me on the floor with her foot on my neck!/i), and with it her whole face smiles.  
  
We sit down and watch the movie. How we ended up here, I couldn't tell even when having a gun on my temple but it doesn't matter, we ended up here and there isn't a hair on my head thinking about changing our position. During the movie Mac dozed off and settled against me. The more she got into her little slumber, the more she ended up on top of me. So, at the moment, her upper body lies in my arms while her legs rest on the couch next to me. Her head rests on my shoulder and I hear her soft, regular breathing against my upper chest.  
  
Out of my strength I see my hand going to her hair, following the cut it has till the back of my fingers caress her cheek. I more feel than see her take a relaxing breath. Yes, I can so live with this. I know it for real, today is the day, I will and shall tell her what I wanted to the past 6 years but was unable to. I have no idea why I couldn't 'let go', Mac's words I might add, for all this time but I know now, I can and I will and whatever the outcome is, I am willing to risk it. My life has excisted of bad things, obsessions, wantings, needs... Mac is now one of them but she is the good side of it. My life has always been run by the bad parts of it but Mac is a good part and maybe, just maybe, I now decided it is worth for me to finally have something good in my life, another part that helps me through this world, someone to make my life complete, be my lettuce to my salad, my cherry on my sundae.  
  
My thumb is now caressing her chin, feeling the soft skin that only she can have and I watch her face, take in its texture, mark every feature on my brain like a scar. A painless, wanting scar.  
  
i I'm so in love with you /i  
  
I smile and look over her face again and then...  
  
I see her look at me, watery eyes, a smile tugging at her lip, an expression I can't decypher. I smile at her and ask a silent question. iWhy is she looking at me like that? /i  
  
"I heard you" I hear her whisper. She heard what? She heard..... iOMG... I said it out loud? /i  
  
I think a shocked expression comes over my face cause she lifts her hand and places it on my cheek, she smiles even larger and a tear slips down from her eyes. I wipe it away and I see her redden, looking down at my hand on her face. Wow, didn't know she could look so beautiful. She looks almost.... vulnerable. A Marine, this Marine looking vulnerable. I don't know what will happen today anymore but I think I am ready for it. Shock replaced itself with more warmth and I think a grin is placed on my face from here to.... Suriname. iHey, I should give Webb SOME credit. He brought her here. /i  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I look down to the woman who lies in my arms. Sarah. She can sleep so peacefully and now she is snuggled against me, one arm draped over my torso, a leg wrapped around mine. I can't help to draw a hand over her hair and giving her a kiss on the head. It's over, we took a step and I am totally ready for the future, our future, whatever it may bring and hoping it'll be an eternity.  
  
If I only knew it could be so simple for us. If I had known it only took six words to get to where I am now, where we are now, I'd done it 6 years ago. But either way, I am happy and some day, some time, I thank simplicity for its excistence.  
  
I snuggle into my pillow, pulling the warm body of my long time partner closer against me. The last thing that goes through my mind before I fall completely asleep, I whisper. "I'm so in love with you". Then the world slides out from me and I fall into a sleep that I've never had so good before.  
  
THE END! 


End file.
